Meeting Boy

"If I told the boss the sun will rise at 6:57 tomorrow, he’d tell me to make it 6:30, then..."

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 19:00:05 -0500

“If I told the boss the sun will rise at 6:57 tomorrow, he’d tell me to make it 6:30, then later complain I’m not proactive enough.”

"The Perfect Plan: 1. Shoot boss with arrow. 2. Blame poor AT&T coverage for not calling 9-1-1 in..."

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 11:05:41 -0500

“The Perfect Plan:
1. Shoot boss with arrow.
2. Blame poor AT&T coverage for not calling 9-1-1 in time.
3. Tell police it was Cupid.”

"Why don’t people answer your questions? Let’s start with how you never include the..."

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 19:00:05 -0500

“Why don’t people answer your questions? Let’s start with how you never include the original email in your replies so all context is lost.”

"No Meeting Mondays" sounds like a great idea. In theory.

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 14:46:43 -0500

"No Meeting Mondays" sounds like a great idea. In theory.:

flyoverjoel:

Imagine a Monday morning unlike any other. It’s a better Monday; one where you don’t get to the office after huffing exhaust fumes during your commute, or having a perfume induced allergy attack after being forcibly snuggled up next to a 55–year-old administrative assistant on the train and have…

Sounds great. In theory. But the reality is you’re just moving meetings from Monday to Tuesday, making Tuesday much worse. This won’t decrease meetings one bit. And that’s only if the rule actually sticks— frankly I find most managers would just ignore it, feeling it applies to OTHER meetings, or the meetings of the common worker ant and not someone as important as them.

Read Joel’s proposal, and then tell me if I’m wrong.

"You don’t share information with the team, but now you’re surprised we didn’t make..."

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 19:00:05 -0500

“You don’t share information with the team, but now you’re surprised we didn’t make the right decision? Did you think we read minds?”

"I know you think you’re too smart for spell check, so explain how you sent an email to the..."

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 19:00:05 -0500

“I know you think you’re too smart for spell check, so explain how you sent an email to the client that said “thank you for your patience’s.””

"No one is impressed that you’re sending work emails on Saturday afternoon. No one."

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 14:18:00 -0500

“No one is impressed that you’re sending work emails on Saturday afternoon. No one.”

"The conference call software lets us record by pressing #2. We should send the tapes to Guantanamo,..."

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 19:00:05 -0500

“The conference call software lets us record by pressing #2. We should send the tapes to Guantanamo, so the US can stop waterboarding.”

"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Well, ONE of the roads is. The boss will get there..."

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:00:05 -0500

“The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Well, ONE of the roads is. The boss will get there too, but he’s taking a different route.”

"Walk off with my pen again and you can keep it— it won’t be much use to me after I stab..."

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 12:19:00 -0500

“Walk off with my pen again and you can keep it— it won’t be much use to me after I stab you in the neck with it anyway.”

"Who else would make lame PowerPoint decks we’d all be embarrassed to deliver? Who else would..."

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 22:46:33 -0500

“Who else would make lame PowerPoint decks we’d all be embarrassed to deliver? Who else would postulate on project management for beginners?”

- Cocktail Straw: Jerkface

"A 4-hour conference call? I guess so; it’s as good time a time as any to send out my resume."

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 19:00:06 -0500

“A 4-hour conference call? I guess so; it’s as good time a time as any to send out my resume.”

"It’s 5:00, so if you don’t have a good answer to “why can’t this..."

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 17:15:14 -0500

“It’s 5:00, so if you don’t have a good answer to “why can’t this wait?”, then unless you’re bleeding, I’m out of here.”

"A 3-hour meeting? Pass. Just send me the PowerPoint and I’ll ignore it just like if I were in..."

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:00:05 -0500

“A 3-hour meeting? Pass. Just send me the PowerPoint and I’ll ignore it just like if I were in the room.”

"Hmmm… a lot of people seem to be at a “downtown meeting” this morning. I’m..."

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 11:34:10 -0500

“Hmmm… a lot of people seem to be at a “downtown meeting” this morning. I’m sure they are hard at work and not at the Giants parade.”

"A college class came in to get a tour and see how a company works. I assume it was a “scared..."

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 19:00:05 -0500

“A college class came in to get a tour and see how a company works. I assume it was a “scared straight” program.”

"Giants win! Is it too soon to call in sick tomorrow?"

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 22:20:14 -0500

“Giants win! Is it too soon to call in sick tomorrow?”

"I’m willing to admit I’m prejudiced against PowerPoint, probably because I only see it..."

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 19:00:05 -0500

“I’m willing to admit I’m prejudiced against PowerPoint, probably because I only see it under the worst of circumstances— in meetings.”

"If you want a sense of how pointless and repetitive my job is, just try to watch 8 hours of..."

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 14:37:58 -0500

“If you want a sense of how pointless and repetitive my job is, just try to watch 8 hours of #SuperBowl pregame coverage.”

"No, I don’t care how many exclamation points and CAPITAL LETTERS you use, I am not answering..."

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 19:01:05 -0500

“No, I don’t care how many exclamation points and CAPITAL LETTERS you use, I am not answering emails from the toilet.”