Welcome to the opening round of the Meetys, the first online awards for workplace frustration and tedium. The first step is to establish the categories for awards. I’ve come up with these, but I’m sure there are more I’m not thinking of. (Award illustration by Travis Nuckolls (@visway).)

• Best Selective Use of Facts
• Best Lie
• Best Use of PowerPoint
• Best Animated Presentation
• Best Short Meeting
• Status
• Clueless Cool Boss
• Best use of jargon in a single sentence
• Best Adaptation (stolen idea)
• Best Fake Listening
• Best Non-Answer
• Best Left-Handed Compliment
• Contradictory Statement
• Best Bossism
• Best Delegation Of Your Own Job
• Best Buck Passing
• Best Blame Deflection
• Best Finger Pointing
• Pissiest Email

What other categories should there be?