Status meetings are the single biggest waste of time in the office. And they are the only thing for which there is absolutely no justification. Never is a status meeting a productive use of time.

Sure, you may argue, that getting updates from everyone on the team is an essential part of a manager’s job. That is true. But the problem is that a status meeting is not the way to do it.

A status meeting is really a series of smaller meetings between the manager and the person giving their own update. No one needs to hear this, and no one pays attention unless its their own update. Well, actually that’s the best case scenario— the truth is that some people will feel it’s necessary to comment on other people’s updates, just so it sounds like they are go-getters with lots of good ideas. And when they do, it just makes the meeting go even longer.

Do the math— if there are 12 people in the department, then a status meeting where they each have a 5 minute update will take a minimum or one hour, thus wasting 12 hours of time (I’m assuming that the manager will still spend the same amount of time collecting updates, and the individuals will still spend the same amount of time giving updates, but the waste is the time they spend hearing other people’s updates):

12 people spend 1 hour hearing updates of others = 12 productive hours lost

There is a simple way to escape this madness— don’t allow status meetings. The manager needs their update from everyone, so those updates should be done separately, not as a group. Here’s my suggestions for how to do this:

1. The manager goes to each person on the team individually and gets their update.
2. Each member of the team is required to send an update to the manager via email.
3. Each member of the team is called to come to the manager’s office to give their update.

#1 is probably a non-starter because the manager might feel that it makes it look like they work for the employees, not the other way around. And we’d hate to bruise their egos just to save 12  hours of employee productivity!

#2 sounds like a good solution, but will probably fail because people can’t be counted on to send it on time every week. Though maybe they would if it were clear that you can either send the update on time OR HAVE TO COME TO STATUS MEETINGS. That’s a pretty good incentive.

#3 should keep the manager’s ego intact. And if it’d help, maybe we should all genuflect and kiss their ring when giving our update, as though they were the Godfather and we were currying their favor.

Why can’t #3 start happening immediately? I’ll tell you why— “because it’s not the way we do things” and because nothing makes you feel like a manager more than making a room full of people waste their time to do your bidding. 

I’d have more to say on this topic, but I have to run to a status meeting.