I forgot the office “diversity potluck” was today. Sure, it sounds like fun in theory— everyone bringing in a dish reflecting their family heritage. But that wasn’t enough. Instead the boss announced there would be a winner for best dish. Because what’s more fun than being forced to share a meal with coworkers? Having them compete, that’s what.

So rather than having everyone compliment each other on their dish— even if they are lying just to be nice—  it was lobbying and handicapping who would win.

The winner was German Potato Salad. Hardly the best dish there, but then it turns out the boss didn’t want people to vote, and just decided himself, and his palate isn’t what you’d call diverse. I consoled the makers of the Thai Springrolls and Lasagne by pointing out that they must’ve been feeling the same way as the Italians and Greeks were about the Euro.

Of course I didn’t eat anything— I never know who is trying to poison the boss.