This, this right here, is why @girldetective is so awesome. It’s the brainstorm meeting for the “new Libya”:

girl-detective:

It’s time to start a new Libya, motherfuckers!

Are you pumped?

[applause]

I SAID ARE YOU FUCKING PUMPED?

[cheers and applause]

That’s more like it! Awesome. I’m pumped, too. This new Libya is gonna be fucking rad, you guys. This is going to be the best Libya you’ve ever fucking seen, and I’m not just saying that because I’m high off of allergy medicine and the sweet mixture of Qaddafi’s blood and cowardly tears. Nope, I’m completely effing serious here.

Our new Libya is going to be totally bad-ass. You know that scene in The Empire Strikes Back where Han Solo is about to be frozen in carbonite and Princess Leia is all like “I love you” and Han looks at her and says “I know”? That’s how bad-ass our new Libya is going to be. Like Samuel L. Jackson times a million bad-ass.

And do you know why our new Libya is going to be so fucking cool? Because of you guys right here. That’s right! After years of being oppressed by a full-on, crazy-ass motherfucker in military pajamas, you people are finally going to have your say about how this country is run.

[cheers and applause]

Hell yeah! Let’s hear it!

So as you can see, I’ve got this hella sweet white board on stage behind me, and what we’re gonna do now is take some suggestions from the audience on what kind of awesome new Libya we want start. Ok, so if you’ve got an idea, just yell it out and I’ll write it down.

[indiscriminate yelling]

Ok, I heard Clothing Optional Libya from somebody over hear, and Lord of the Rings Libya from this guy down in front. What else?

[indiscriminate yelling]

Cool. Yeah. I like that one: Pizza Libya. And then I think Hamid said Nyan Cat Libya, so I’ll add that, too. Any other ideas?

[indiscriminate yelling]

Beyoncé Libya—good one! And I heard Cloud-Based Integration Platform Libya from someone in the back. Love it.

Let’s keep the ball rolling, people!

[indiscriminate yelling]

 Ok, I’m gonna assume that whoever said Jewish Libya was joking, so I’m not gonna write that down. But I will add Dancing With The Stars Libya and Baby Animal Petting Zoo Libya.

We have room for a few more…

[indiscriminate yelling]

Well, Umar, Boobies Libya does sound pretty great, but I think that sort of falls under Clothing Option Libya, so how about I just put that one in parenthesis next to it? Ok, cool. Now, let’s make some room for Enchantment Under the Sea Libya and Heidegger’s Theory of Being Libya, aaaand…I think we’ve got it!

This is fucking awesome, guys! We’re off to such a great start. I’m totally stoked about this new Libya. It’s gonna be off the fucking hook! I mean it.

So anyway, Sharif is gonna type up the notes from today and then we’ll email everybody with the list of ideas before our next meeting on Tuesday. Thank you so much for coming out today. You guys the best. No, really, you are!

Oh, and everybody: Be sure to grab yourself a donut on the way out! I baked them myself with the oxygen from Qadaffi’s last undeserving, scum-of-the-earth breath.

They’re motherfucking delicious.