iamnotdiddy:

In this segment of “5 Questions”, we talk with @MeetingBoy, Twitter’s expert on the robust jargon leveraged in top-down organizations across the world, about zombies, heroes, and mute buttons :

Not Diddy: When the impending Zombie Apocalypse comes (and we both know it will), what will be your weapon of choice? 

Mr. Boy: Platitudes. By observing my boss I’ve discovered that there is nothing that can’t be solved with platitudes. So obviously when the zombies come, I will do whatever it takes.

Not Diddy: Do you have any heroes?  

Mr. Boy: Anyone whoever quit their job and told everyone off is my hero. Unless they died pathetic and penniless. That I could do myself.

Not Diddy: What do you think the world needs more of? 

Mr. Boy:Mute buttons.    

Not Diddy: Have you ever been on America’s Most Wanted?   

Mr. Boy:No, not yet. But someday it is my dream to be… On that fateful morning, MeetingBoy’s boss gave a motivational presentation to the department about how “flawless execution” of his “robust plan” would “result in increased synergy throughout the company.” It was the last presentation he ever gave.

Not Diddy: If you could teach the children of the world one thing that would stick with them for life, what would it be?  

Mr. Boy:Never underestimate the bullies.

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More @MeetingBoy here and here

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