“Every time someone sends a work email after 9PM, Baby Jesus cries a little.”
“Microsoft Office now available on the iPad. Is there no escaping the scourge of PowerPoint?”
“The boss is perfect which is a huge help because when things go wrong we don’t have to consider any of his actions as the culprit.”
“Yesterday she made me drop everything and finish her project. Today she yelled at me for not finishing her other project. What a go-getter!”
“Yoga pants are for YOGA, not the office. Why is that so hard to understand?”
“Apparently there are FACTS and THINGS BIG SHOTS THINK regardless of the evidence. Guess which one we’re writing the plan based on.”
The company is committed to these principles…but only until the cleaning lady comes.
“Boss, do that thing where you ask for my advice and then tell me why you’re ignoring it to do what you always planned. That’s my favorite!”
“Coworker just resigned. He said he’d give two weeks, but only if he “never has to look at another PowerPoint again.”
“When I ask you for when something is due, the answer can not always be “ASAP”.”