July 2011
88 posts
Under what conditions can I believably call in...
I’m looking for something airtight that keeps my boss from calling 6 times.
June 2011
50 posts
NBA & NFL lock out players. Why can’t my office lock us out? Take my job. Please.
“NOTE TO VENDORS: Next time don’t send a social retard to try to sell me...”
“Boss asked department what they’re doing for the holiday. Can’t tell...”
ONLY 5 MORE MEETINGS UNTIL THE HOLIDAY!
Hmm…screaming that was less satisfying than I’d hoped.
It’d be a big help if the Weather Channel would say “NYC, high 78, low 62. Office temp will be 64 so bring a sweater.”
“The Pope joined Twitter. Makes sense; I’m sure he also has lots of boring...”
“That meeting was as painful as passing a kidney stone.”
– But the good thing about kidney stones is that you only pass them once; we have this same meeting every Tuesday at 3:00.
Q: How do you respond to younger co-workers who... →
Twitter funnyman @RexHuppke writes a column I Just Work Here (and follow him as @RexWorksHere to ask your own workplace questions) and this question was answered, but I have my own answer, so here goes:
This comes up all the time in our department. In particular the boss has had periods where he tried to boost his friend count, probably to compete with other brain-dead alphas from his fraternity,...
“So far the boss scheduled 2 meetings for next Monday, July 4th. I really hope he...”
“Hangman With Friends? No, I refuse to believe anyone wants to play hangman....”
@THEbenramsay: My 12pm meeting on Tuesday now comes with a 10am “pre-meeting” starter. Do I leave room for a 2pm debrief dessert?
“Office email is still down. I believe this entitles me to have 3 martinis at...”
3 tags
MeetingBoy interviewed on Stupidity Radio →
As I mentioned earlier, I was a guest on the Stupidity Radio podcast this week. Please give it a listen and tell me what you think. I may do more of these so constructive criticism is appreciated. [In my defense it was at 11PM in NYC, so I was a little tired, which may have shown.] Besides you can’t hurt my feelings, because I blame the actor I paid to impersonate me.
We talked about:
My...
“Email still down? OMG! How will Roz from Accounting give away her kittens?”
– @GoodGirlRoxy
“Email server is down at work. I guess the hamster wheel got off track.”
7 tags
Today marks 2 years on Twitter for @MeetingBoy.
Sounds great until you consider it also means 2 years with this idiot boss.
I didn’t always hate my job. There was a time when I really enjoyed it. In fact a friend of mine hated her job, and while bitching about it one day says, “I want that job you have.”
“Oh, which one’s that?”
“The one where you have a boss you like who supports you, a...
“Annoying coworker is flossing in the adjacent cubicle. If anyone needs me,...”
– @senderblock23
“While today is officially the longest day of the year in the Northern...”
– @BlondHousewife
2 tags
Why Are You Holding This Meeting? →
My first post at YAM Labs (“Yet Another Meeting”). Take a look:
But of course just because you can make people come to your meeting, doesn’t guarantee success. In order to get something accomplished in a meeting—and pardon me if this seems obvious—you’ll need to tell people what you hope to accomplish. It’s called an agenda. And if you don’t have one for your meetings, you may...
“When I get a bunch of passive-aggressive, last minute requests during lunch it...”
“Hearing all your coworkers simultaneous rolling the mouse scroll button sounds...”
– @FlyoverJoel
“When the Revolution comes, I’m shooting everyone who uses a speakerphone...”
I'm going to be on Stupidity Radio tonight. →
11PM eastern. Listen in.
Real people don’t act like you, boss. No one can use so many buzzwords and lie ALL the time. Are you doing performance art?
“The Last Emergency Tampon In The Office has been replaced. ThunderDome has been...”
I'm told there's such a thing as The Last...
And apparently now it’s gone. Should I be scared?
Hockey? That's why they're rioting?
Vancouver should be rioting to end the tyranny of Reply-All.
“Any company that takes the time to ensure their thin mints are protected gets an...”
– rachelfabulous
“Oh, great! More all-caps, passive-aggressive etiquette notes in the bathroom...”
1 tag
So far none of these candidates has put forward a plan to improve the economy by eliminating pointless meetings.
“A coworker quit to go work for a startup— the 703rd Groupon knockoff. I...”
“I won’t vote for Alec Baldwin for Mayor of NYC. But I do think Jack...”
“New exec told department he has an “open door policy”. He told us...”
4 tags
“Quit and they throw you a party; get laid off and security helps you pack your...”
“A lazy coworker quit, so we replaced him with a paper mâché replica in his chair...”
How do I, @MeetingBoy, get a preview screening of... →
I can’t find any way to contact them, and I think it might be cool for me to review it with my own take? After all, no one hates their boss more than me, right?
Any of you PR or Hollywood types know how I can make this happen?
“Colleague is excited about her business trip to Europe. Too bad it’s just...”
Is there a word for when you call in sick only to...
I feel I wasted a perfectly good sick day.
1 tag
“Oh, great! Now HR will probably make us sit through a 2-hour training class...”
Anyone know the difference between a psychopath...
HR is making us write 360 reviews of the boss and I want to get it right.
“5 different color fonts in this email? This is a project proposal, not a happy...”
“Oh, look! Favoritism trumps performance again. Someone should write a fairy tale...”
“Look, lady, I don’t care that it’s 88 degrees outside. I don’t...”
sandboxdiaries:
what’s a polite way to say “I’m not your goddamn secretary and no longer work for you, so don’t fucking snap at me” to your former supervisor?
“Yes, I did fall asleep in that last meeting, but I don’t see the...”
5 tags
“My 4 year old’s soccer coaches have yet to do a Power Point presentation....”
– @RexHuppke