May 2011
51 posts
“Jetsons? Hardly. The future turns out to be playing Scrabble from the toilet at...”
May 31st
1 tag
“Back off, buddy! Keep your Monday meetings on Mondays. Today is Tuesday; no...”
May 31st
6 tags
Dear President Obama,
What’s the point of giving the country’s workers Monday off if they just reschedule all the pointless meetings on Tuesday? Can’t you sign an executive order canceling all Monday meetings WITHOUT ALLOWING RESCHEDULING? Your people are suffering, Mr. President. The time for action is now! Sincerely, Meeting Boy
May 31st
31 notes
2 tags
I Hate PowerPoint
The most popular presentation on SlideShare for the week of May 23-30. Reblog, retweet, embed, tell people on the street— whatever it takes to get them to view it. But only if you too hate PowerPoint. I Hate PowerPoint View more presentations from Meeting Boy Some help on this from @FlyoverJoel and @Blobert. Clip art credits: Slide 1: No powerpoint logo:...
May 31st
15 notes
“How are both interns in the office and the coffee still isn’t made?! Jeez!...”
May 30th
“A big shot at this healthcare company was introduced as Chief Growth Officer. I...”
May 29th
9 notes
“It’s one thing to be an older employee who says things like “the...”
May 28th
“Stop pestering me with suggestions for how to make this awful project 2% less...”
May 27th
“Something died in the office fridge this weekend. Sadly it wasn’t the...”
May 26th
17 notes
“Before we build a proof of concept, I’d like to propose we decide what...”
May 25th
12 notes
“A coworker quit this morning to work for himself. I’m sure it’s just...”
May 24th
“When your resume claims you ”visioneered” something, we’ll...”
May 23rd
“MeetingBoy is currently out of the office. If you’re seeing this message,...”
May 23rd
“No, the boss isn’t sexist— he treats men with contempt too. He...”
May 22nd
“Don’t kid yourself, buddy— the iPhone isn’t why people are...”
May 21st
“Mock the guy who predicted the end of the world all you want, but he’s $70...”
May 21st
“Don’t misunderstand— the boss only built a consensus to shift...”
May 20th
For all the pointless jargon my boss knows, it’d be nice if he could learn this handy catchphrase for people in other departments: “It can wait.”
May 19th
“Frantic, poorly thought out, doomed-to-fail effort beats frank discussion of how...”
May 18th
9 notes
At this hip, cool office they let people bring their dogs to work. We have something similar except at our office the BOSS is the one who does a lot of barking and pisses and shits on everyone’s work.
May 18th
3 tags
May 18th
“Just because something has the initials R A T, doesn’t mean we need to...”
May 17th
“The road to Ennui is paved with status meetings.”
May 16th
13 notes
“This is going to be a 2 pen meeting. One to take notes with, and the other to...”
– @robertpresswood
May 15th
“I don’t understand why it takes 3 days to put together. Why doesn’t...”
– my Boss, about every project. from @JeanM617
May 14th
@Tymethief: Hypothetically if I break my nose on my desk passing out because this document is boring and I’m exhausted… can I claim workman’s comp?
May 13th
13 notes
“Yeah, boss, I wouldn’t worry about The Rapture next week. You won’t...”
May 13th
On Assistance
davio1962: I have calculated that only 10% of the time when a coworker asks for my assistance, they actually NEED my assistance. But I keep these findings to myself for fear of receiving a 90% pay cut.
May 12th
26 notes
4 tags
May 12th
15 notes
“No exaggeration this lady has literally said “or what-not” a billion...”
May 11th
“Falling asleep at my computer and waking up irritable because I have a neck...”
– @ungraceful
May 10th
11 notes
4 tags
Account People Will Accommodate Anything
Account People Will Accommodate Any Idea From View more presentations from Meeting Boy
May 10th
5 notes
“We don’t have strategies around here; we have PowerPoint.”
May 9th
Ten Top Tweets PowerPoint Edition: @MeetingBoy (as...
Really it’s not PowerPoint’s fault that so many people use it poorly: flyoverjoel: Yes, everyone loves and already follows @MeetingBoy and his tweets spread like wildfire across Twitter.  But that’s because they are funny and really manage to capture things we all think or feel at work.  My personal hatred is PowerPoint.  I spent the better part of a decade working with IBM, HP,...
May 9th
31 notes
3 tags
The Green Eggs & Ham of Meetings →
I do not like meetings when I’m at home, I do not like them in a dome. I do not like them at the office, I do not like them with a guy named Chris. Please no more meetings that take an hour, Especially not with my boss the shouter. I do not like meetings in a cube, I do not like them with a noob. I do not like them outside the box, I do not like them on long walks. Please no more meetings that...
May 8th
16 notes
Anonymous asked: So I have to come up with a motivational quote for a meeting next week. I work in life insurance industry on back office side. We dint see the clients. We do the behind the scenes stuff. The company is a good company and the meetings aren't too bad. I'm the smartass always joking so I kinda want to have a quote with a double meaning. Thought maybe your followers could throw out some of...
May 7th
4 tags
May 7th
20 notes
2 tags
You know best!
You’re right! Our process is too slow. You’re the account director, you know best. So let’s streamline this puppy, and knock it out of the park. Let’s cut all that fat and clear all the obstacles to producing good work: We’ll skip research and planning. You know the consumer, so we don’t need a brief. Your gut is better anyway. You don’t need a...
May 7th
17 notes
Hey guys, I just quit my job!
cleapow: I mean, I have until the end of August.  But I told her. She said it ruined her Friday. That might be the best compliment ever.
May 6th
“Not saying my client is difficult to please, but if I offered him a blowjob he...”
– @SSO_AZ
May 6th
“It’s Cinco de Hangover!”
May 6th
Who are the most hated characters of web 2.0?
joeschmitt: We were tossing this around the office today, @taylorlecroy and I. Among those already on our list: Tweet thieves People who Instagram every meal Photo over-taggers Habitual Facebook cause inviters Tightly knit #FF circles People who only check your blog to try to take things out of context and get you in trouble Farmville & Mafia Wars players Daily mugshots People who...
May 6th
109 notes
“Please stop saying “touch base”. I’m pretty sure that’s...”
May 5th
I was just asked if replacing the toner cartridge...
case-a-dilla: No, no it is not. Do you know why? Because it walks you through the instructions on the screen. It’s anyone’s bailiwick. And you know what else? Who uses the word bailiwick anymore? Please retire if you can’t embrace technology and stop talking like you’re on old time radio. You need to be sitting in a rocking chair on a porch, smoking a pipe and yelling at young whippersnappers.
May 5th
“I’m glad you called to reiterate, word for word, the last three emails you...”
– @stacey727
May 4th
9 notes
“I don’t need a photo to know bin Laden is dead. However, if you tell me my...”
May 3rd
“Boss called in ‘sick’. Guess he forgot his kids were off today.”
May 3rd
May 3rd
10 notes
"Working with him is like spending eight hours...
inthefade I think she’s talking about my boss.
May 3rd
Kristi over at PlanYourMeetings.com has outdone... →
It does kind of feel like my boss ghostwrote it for her. The list of 29 buzzwords appeared in an earlier post of mine.
May 2nd