December 2011
46 posts
2 tags
“Nothing beats when someone sends you an email during Christmas and your...”
3 tags
“Before you send another self-righteous reply-all, reread it, and if it sounds...”
1 tag
“Before you try to call me out for not responding to your email, make sure you...”
Top 25 Christmas tweets, as chosen by... →
Of course I’m on there, and there’s a @badbanana one about meetings as well. Hope you are reading this from home.
3 tags
“Nothing beats being lectured on best practices by a lazy, undisciplined liar.”
3 tags
2 tags
“Leaving my work Blackberry in the charger at the office is the Christmas present...”
“Last one out of the office, don’t forget to burn the place down....”
2 tags
“Sorry, I can’t make your meeting. I have to catch up on the 182 emails...”
2 tags
“When the Revolution comes, I’m shooting everyone who suddenly comes up...”
4 tags
“To thank you for all the business you’ve given us this year, here’s...”
– every vendor
3 tags
“A vendor sent a box of chocolates to the department. The boss picked out all the...”
5 tags
“You know it’s a bad idea when the boss invites several other big shots to...”
1 tag
Anatomy of a Reply All
flyoverjoel:
To: Everyone@work.com From: Barb in Accounting Subject: Please Turn off PC’s Over the Holidays Just a quick reminder to turn off your PC’s over the holiday weekend. Thanks, Barb ************************************* To: Everyone@work.com From: Steve in Marketing Subject: RE: Please Turn off PC’s Over the Holidays I have a laptop, do I need to turn that off too?...
3 tags
“The modern day Grinch isn’t stealing presents on Christmas Eve; instead...”
3 tags
“I’m suspicious when called on speakerphone— is someone else...”
2 tags
“I brought in donuts this morning, and the boss stopped by my desk 5 times. I...”
WatchToo drunk or not drunk enough? That’s the argument in this office holiday party sketch from @drw and friends.
2 tags
“Video conference? No, thanks. Conference calls are my Sudoku time and I...”
3 tags
“The boss just chided us for not “managing up”, which is just a fancy...”
1 tag
“3500 people work in this office. Must we celebrate every damn birthday?”
4 tags
“If they put one of ours in the hospital, we put one of theirs in the morgue. If...”
4 tags
“Considering how poorly the boss treats our vendor, there’s no way...”
2 tags
“The boss says it’s not a lie if he’s telling someone what they want...”
5 tags
“The corporate gift with the company logo just got TAKEN BACK from me and given...”
3 tags
“I’d complain about people caroling in the office, but this is not quite as...”
– Don’t get me wrong— it’s still irritating, but not as bad as hearing them discuss whether we should use a “bluer blue” on the color-coded status report.
How many coworkers that you hate does it take not... →
Take my poll now
1 tag
“There’s nothing sadder than seeing a child have to use PowerPoint for...”
2 tags
“There is nothing that can’t be made worse by REPLY-ALL.”
3 tags
“Between Christmas and New Years over half the department is on vacation, but...”
1 tag
“No, no, why would I be upset that you’ve scheduled a mandatory meeting on...”
2 tags
“They say opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. But when you’re an...”
– @anjeanettec
Actually at a large company it’s a committee of assholes whose opinions matter.
2 tags
“If you send an all-caps email about how we need to stop making spelling...”
3 tags
“First email of the day— subject is “thinking outside the box”....”
Eight reasons why I’m skipping the office... →
from the post:
8. Don’t be cheap.
You don’t need to throw a party at The Plaza Hotel. But if the party looks and feels cheap, you won’t raise morale, you’ll lower it.
A few years ago the CEO made a big deal of announcing that even though there wouldn’t be a company party, he was still going to do something to show his appreciation for all our hard work all year. He said “don’t bring lunch...
2 tags
Holiday Part Survey results
Challenger, Gray & Christmas says that 70% of companies will hold holiday parties this year, and only 30% will hold them on company premises. What they don’t tell you is that most of those parties will suck. And I know they suck because lots of people don’t want to go to theirs. I know this because I took a poll; results below.
Will you go to the office holiday party?
Yes!...
1 tag
“Another day, another pointless webinar.”
1 tag
“Marketing white papers exist so executives have something to skim and assume...”
– @tehawesome
“Overheard two people talking about bleaching their assholes. I’m not sure...”
1 tag
“You’re not my boss, but sure, keep barking orders at me. See how fast I...”
1 tag
“Sure, I could get you the answers to those questions, because obviously you are...”
1 tag
“Can you cover for me today so I can help decorate the office for Christmas?”
– This is how grinches are made.
3 tags
“POTATO CHIPS on conference calls don’t annoy me; PEOPLE EATING POTATO...”
1 tag
"I'm aligned with that."
A new hated catchphrase. I’ve heard this one too lately. Only 7 months ago this one didn’t even make the list of most hated buzzwords. Like a strain of bacteria that can resist anti-biotics, the vapid, jargon-spewing go-getters continue to find new ways to sound impressive without actually being smarter or doing more work.
redcloud:
beefranck:
groverviolet:
Turning the two word...
1 tag
“Client quote of the day: “I don’t remember what I approved, but...”
– Though the best part was when the account director pretended the client was correct, even though she had the signed approval in her folder. Instead she said we’d get it changed right away.
I don’t know why we bother to write conference reports and get signatures any more if past...