February 2010
142 posts
Catching up on my Words With Friends games. Feels odd to be playing NOT on the toilet at work.
Snowbound
Snowbound.
Stuck in the apartment.
Bored, sitting at the kitchen table.
If someone asks me what I did this week, it’s going to feel a lot like a status meeting.
I complain a lot, but really I only spent 1300 hours in meetings last year.
The problem with meetings on snow days is only half the people show up; the other half won’t dial in until Oprah is over.
RT @texaslippy Not sure how they calculate royalties for hold music on conference calls. I may be about to put someone’s kid through college
If I spend all afternoon staring at a Word...
no one says anything. But if I spend all afternoon staring at a solitaire game, they complain.
Lousy hypocrites.
1 tag
“It’s interesting how the hilarity of the joke is directly proportional to...”
– @kerissmithJA
A forced apology is better than nothing I suppose, but it’s no pound of flesh. I want my pound of flesh. Is that wrong?
Got roped into a meeting that the organizer admits is meaningless to my job, but they just need to fill seats to impress someone. Lucky me!
Look on the bright side? Sure, today wasn’t ALL bad. I’m one day closer to death, meaning one less day I can have meetings.
RT @Twitter_Tips: r/t How to avoid getting hacked by Twitter DM Spam: http://j.mp/azkdls /via @kunstart @mediamatic
5 things my boss has caught me doing at work in...
cloudya:
Putting on deodorant
Playing Farmville (don’t you judge me!)
Sipping coffee and reading a trashy novel with my feet up on the desk
Looking at cartoon porn
Online shopping for a new vibrator
Is that all? At least you aren’t stopping other people from working.
NYC is getting enough snow to be miserable, but not enough to be closed tomorrow. So all the meetings are go!
The truth is I only came to this meeting because I heard my boss was going to get yelled at. Otherwise I’d be back at my desk doing Sudoku.
“Boss’s printer out of paper.
Admin on vacation.
No paper in supply...”
– @ocean1blue
Two people in a row scheduled a meeting with me but never showed. Maybe they like the IDEA of meeting with me, but not the reality.
Yidago: Pay It Forward: Meeting Boy Calendar... →
iamnotdiddy:
iamnotdiddy:
The winner of the Pay It Forward: Meeting Boy Calendar Giveaway is @yidago.
Thank you to everyone that has supported igotyourcrazy. I know that she greatly appreciates it.
Woo hoo!! At least something went right today! However, as thrilled as I am to have won that fantastic prize, I would much rather use it to help raise more money for igotyourcrazy so here’s the...
Q: Ever been asked for an "exact list of specific...
A: I have. Usually after the fact when they are asking “how come you didn’t warn us that this could happen.” Because of course underlings are always able to see the future; it’s only managers that have too much on their minds to see the consequences of their own actions.
“If the team worked within the hours I allocated, I wouldn’t be overbudget.” If there’s an I in TEAM, she’s it.
RT @SusannahGaddis: I just sat through an impromptu after hours meeting where we were actually lectured for not smiling.
“My company had a HALF DAY time management class… the instructor was 30...”
– @tweeterpatedjax
According to my boss, two wrongs DO make a right if you proactively give 110%.
Everyone’s so worried about gay marriage. I’m married to my job. Why can’t New York outlaw that?!
When did it become MY job to run YOUR feedback by YOUR boss?
1 tag
She's a bad manager, but it's not like she gassed...
Oh, she would if doing so advanced her career or allowed her to shift attention away from her own shortcomings. But she hasn’t, and isn’t that the important part?
2 tags
“There should be an opt-out on reply-alls.”
– @blondemonde
It’s nice when the CEO insists on inserting a friend into a project who is NOT an incompetent charlatan. For a change.
Instead of sharing leftover client luncheon food...
(an all-office email “there’s food in the kitchen”), she wrapped it up and took it home.
And she’s not some lowly wage-slave, she’s a VP.
Classy!
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and expense reports.
There are no bad ideas in brainstorming. Even so masturbating is frowned upon.
“Of course the status report needs to be printed in color. Also let them eat cake.”
1 tag
“Bosses are like toddlers; they should not be left unattended. Had to call...”
– @ocean1blue
Printer’s out of paper. Time to go home.
RT @mcritz: Here’s my @MeetingBoy calendar, Boston style. Wicked! http://twitpic.com/14qm4h
1 tag
Q: What is the proper response to a colleague who...
A: Thank you.
This copy machine is under the impression that there is a situation where people DON’T want their copies collated.
Saturday in the office. An optimist would see a change to see coworkers in jeans. I notice there are fewer witnesses.
Under the Geneva Convention for meetings longer than 2 hours, you must provide water, a snack, and astronaut diapers.
“I scheduled a conference call to discuss future conference call agendas. It was...”
– @behindyourback
If the word “success” appears in your title, in your company name, or anywhere on your business card, you are a fraud.
2 tags
Q: If I complain so much, why do I work here?
A: The day after I graduated from art school, I was talking to this hot lady in a suit and she asked if I wanted a hand job. I said yes, so she took me back to her office. 10 years of meetings later I realize I may have misheard her.
For more Q&A, read Dudley B. Dawson’s interview with Meeting Boy at Life in the Cubicle.
You’ve been here a week. You don’t get to turn things into acronyms yet.
“Designers, you have an additional challenge. Make a second look, but you only...”
– I think Heidi Klum works in account management, possibly at my company.
It’s not on strategy, but it’s turnkey. Approved!
Meeting finally over. Is it still Lent?
YES!!!! I am so doing this: // RT@bfad Can I claim a religious exemption from meetings if I claim I gave them up for Lent?
So @twaggies has illustrated one of my tweets. What do you think? http://ow.ly/1oS7KG