October 2010
90 posts
1 tag
2 tags
For Halloween I’m going as my coworker. I’ll show up in my regular clothes and then whine how I WOULD have had a great costume, but no one appreciates my ideas. And I never actually ordered the costume.
Stop Wasting My Time! Conference Call Edition →
The follow-up to my earlier post for join.me about meetings.
You have to earn my attention. When you hold a meeting, you can see me and I can see you, so I have to at least pretend to pay attention or I’ll look bad, or you could make me look bad. And that’s no matter how boring you are. But on a conference call, I don’t have to pretend, so you better have something...
“Make love not memos.”
– @Astrogirl426
“Mandatory lunch meeting WITH a mediocre sandwich?! You shouldn’t have.. no...”
– @joanhoang
3 tags
“I’ve noticed the word “So…” has become the standard...”
– @Phelam
“I reinvented the wheel today, I really think I improved on the one I reinvented...”
– @LilMissStubborn
“If you let me skip the meeting I agree to die an hour earlier to make up the...”
– @tripledmanicst8
“Productivity MIGHT be enhanced by reducing documentation of productivity. Also?...”
– @CandicePantz
“Can you convert that email to a PDF so I can email it to someone?” -NEVER...”
– @sucittaM
1 tag
“I just got 2 “out of office” email replies. Each said to contact the...”
– @texaslippy
2 tags
“My company just asked that all of us send them our Twitter names. Would claiming...”
– @JET_AZ
I endorse this. Any of my followers may claim to be me should the company request your Twitter name. It serves them right for asking.
1 tag
“The best thing about coworkers that take care of personal business on the office...”
– @Lynnster23
“4:30 is to meeting as water is to boarding.”
– @northpacific
“When crisis rears its ugly head, remember Rule 1: Assess and deflect blame.”
– @texaslippy
“When crisis rears its ugly head, remember Rule 1: Assess and deflect blame.”
– @texaslippy
“Wearing earbuds all day makes it hard to gauge the volume of your own farts. I...”
– @_ykv
“I had back-to-back meetings this morning and boy is my ability to ignore people...”
– @davio1962
“If you insist on microwaving your delicious homemade lunch and making the whole...”
2 tags
More questions
iamnotdiddy did 5 Questions With @MeetingBoy a while back. There were a few questions that got left out: What is your favorite word?I reject the premise of this question. Every word— no matter how cool— when put in the hands of repeating simpletons becomes jargon, and jargon is my sworn enemy, along with Al Qaeda and Cher. No word is robust enough to withstand its robust use in a...
“I was just phoning it in but now I don’t care that much. I think tomorrow...”
– @StillDrew
“CEO in town, everyone told to stop working to look busy.”
– @RunnerJeff
2 tags
The way my boss thinks
PRESS RELEASE:
(NYC) It is my pleasure to announce that for the 8th consecutive month [MB’s boss] is the winner of the Flawless Execution of Robust Media Strategy award. His proactiveness, jargon, platitudes, and out-of-the-box thinking have taken the department to a new level of synergy. Previous winners include [MB’s boss], [MB’s boss], and [MB’s boss]. As in...
“Got roped into an irrelevant meeting to fill seats, but no boxed lunch for me...”
– @kir1
Clueless Secretary Prompts Hilarious Office Email... →
I’m sure this is made up, but it still sounds like things that happen all the time in the office.
1 tag
“My son told me that I wasn’t the “boss” of him, so I showed...”
– @iamnotdiddy
It’s never too soon to teach children about PowerPoint.
“Your project didn’t win an award? That is surprising, especially when you...”
“It always seems like the worst bosses protest loudest when you leave. Like they...”
– @SilkPillow
“Sadly, the DalaiLama neglected to realize that others at the office feel...”
– @Uncle_Buck
“A 2-3 month long status meeting?! Am I trapped in a Dante story? Or is this more...”
“People on Facebook are now adding me to their boring groups without asking....”
“Trapped in a 33-person status meeting in the basement for the last 70 minutes....”
1 tag
“This is why I am so in awe of my boss. He can be “working” on the...”
– @ocean1blue
“If your entire job is making updates to the web site, and you can’t log in...”
3 tags
The Emoticon for Eyeroll
@NakedNikki: I'm replying to an email. Anyone know the emoticon for an eyeroll?
@MeetingBoy: I'm not much for emoticons, but this is a good idea.
@NakedNikki: Everything I tried looked like something a baby should be nursing on. I don't want to give the sales guys the wrong idea.
@AuntiAnti: It's this: 9_9
@PR_Elle_Oh: I swear my tweets would be so much better if I didn't work from home...then I'd have people to talk about other than myself or fellow tweeters.
@MeetingBoy: If you had other people to talk to, then you wouldn't need Twitter. Well, except to bitch about those people.
“Someone just called to ask if I got their text. Now that’s follow up! Also...”
– I’m a little disappointed that not one of you jokers sent me even a dollar on this.
“You made a vague request in a meeting ONCE, and never followed up in person or...”
1 tag
“Have a sick kid today (yeah right, it is just Monday and she does not want to go...”
– email from my boss, on why he won’t be in today.
My reply: “Yeah, right. It’s just Monday and you do not want to come to work.”
The @MeetingBoy live interview
Don’t forget, the @MeetingBoy interview is tomorrow at 2:30 Eastern:
Tuesday, 10/19 at 2:30 Eastern Maggie at join.me will be interviewing me, and I’m inviting all of you, my 70,000 coworkers, to join in. You can submit questions ahead of time by either emailing her at askmeetingboy@join.me or adding it to the comments on her post.
What would you ask me if you got only one question? Would...
“Every minute you spend asking me when I’ll be done with your urgent request...”
– @FlyoverJoel
“Is there any chance this 4th cup of coffee is the answer? Please say yes.”
1 tag
“Aren’t we all a little too busy to spend half our time in a conference...”
– @Figliuolo, in his post “1 Simple Way to Boost Productivity by 50%”
Disclosure about my relationship to join.me
Although MeetingBoy is mostly just mocking things people in the office do for my own amusement and yours, for the period October-December, 2010, MeetingBoy has entered into a paid arrangement with LogMeIn which includes
writing content for blog.join.me
appearing in join.me sessions
promoting those appearances and blog postings.
The deal is I get to be myself, I just get a different channel to...
“Please stop sending emails to the whole team requesting updates on the status of...”
“A coworker whines about everything— being ignored, unfair pay, etc. He...”
“Today, I had the pleasure of naming our first “High Impact Player of the...”
– I love awards that are big on buzzwords and short on specifics. Exactly what did they do to get this award?
“Sure, Boss, this new hire is sure to succeed. After all, no one that full of...”