“I didn’t read the executive summary you sent. Can you just put the idea in a few quick sentences and send it to me? Thanks.”

I don’t blame him for being a vapid, ambitious, jargon-spewing whore. This was obvious in the interview. I blame the person who hired him.

“Take a deep breath and remember that he’s an idiot with no real power.”

Your degree was in communications; is it too much to ask that you not send proposals to the client with misspellings and grammatical errors?

I hope after I retire I don’t come back to work only to end up 23rd in whatever it is I do for a living.

Does that Kings of Leon pigeon make housecalls? I can’t think of a more fitting way to end a meeting than shit going INTO someone’s mouth.