4 times $2200.
She had to go to the calculator.
She manages a $6 million budget.
Kill me now.

You think those extra 45 slides for the CEO presentation show how smart you are, but really they show you have no respect for his time.

“C’mon, I don’t have all day. I didn’t read the email I requested you send over the weekend. Can you update me now?”

First she came to me and I told her no.
Then she went to my boss and he told her no.
Then she went to my assistant.
Yes, she went UNDER my head.
And my assistant told her no.

Office tip: Always use a different bathroom door than you walk in, so no one notices how long you were in there playing Words With Friends.

It WAS a great idea until you started adding jargon and made 50 slides about it.

“Once again Spongebob is horrifying accurate about life.”

—sent in by @MildlyAmused

(found at http://9gag.com/gag/19299/)

You’ve known about this for months, but you want us to drop everything to keep you from looking bad? Good luck with that.

Everybody with an Oscars hangover say
“ohhh, ohhh…”
All the ladies in the back whisper
“shhh, shhh…”

I’m sure it’s great, it’s just hard to generate any enthusiasm after you’ve spent TWO WEEKS overthinking ONE LINE.